My Captain's Log

Navigating The Stormy Waters Of Fatherhood

Menu
  • About Me
  • About The Captain
  • Contact Me: Let’s Tell Your Story
  • Privacy Policy
  • Recent Posts
Menu

The Absurdity of Fanhood

Posted on June 3, 2016 by captaincreed

I was awake to see the clock tick all the way down to the double zeroes. It was a familiar scene, and maybe a metaphorical one even, no time left on the clock and my time had fewer points. I watched the familiar scene of my team (this time the Cleveland Cavaliers) sulk their way off of the court while the victors celebrated their win.

It was nearly midnight. I was still awake. They lost. Again. And I was upset.

I should qualify this upset thing. I have never smashed objects, put my hand through a wall, burned a car (or jersey) out of angry/disappointment, but my blood still boils. At times I’m as hot as the Cuyahoga when it caught on fire, or as sullen as the birthday boy whose balloon has just floated away. That has been my experience with sports. I am in a perpetual Charlie Brown loop of failure. The last time one of my teams won a championship was 52 years ago. 12 years before I was born. Yet somehow, someway, I find a way to be disappointed. Every year.

Hey @sportsillustrated! If we don’t win this year, I will blame you! Don’t tease a brother like this; I have waited far too long for a World Series pennant. Like my whole life. #baseball

A photo posted by Creed (@captain_creed) on Apr 12, 2015 at 8:13am PDT

I also cannot allow myself the sanity of jumping on the bandwagon of another team. Though I took my talents away from Northeast Ohio 14 years ago, my heart still resides on the shores of Lake Erie. Cleveland will always be home, and because of that my sports loyalty has been etched in stone. My experience will continue to be dependent upon the teams that broke my heart as a child, young adult, and now as a parent.

 

My current t-shirt. Sigh. Go Browns!

 

A photo posted by Creed (@captain_creed) on Jan 3, 2016 at 9:48am PST

And that’s the absurdity of it all. Why do I care?

I have never suited up. I have never played a single down, inning, or possession professionally.

I promised myself that I wouldn’t care – that I wouldn’t let myself get sucked in, but then I saw the uniforms. I saw the word “Cleveland” scrawled across the warm-ups. I saw that my city was “All In” and so I was too.

And here’s the dichotomy of parenthood. There is a lesson of loyalty colliding with insanity. Einstein is attributed with the quote “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Maybe I am insane to continue to root for my teams. Maybe I am being a faulty example to my children. Is it careless to pass on this obsession joy torture part of my life on to my kids?

There is a matter of perspective as well. After LeBron’s first trip to the Finals with that team from South Beach, he said something in a press conference that he got chided for, but it was the truth. He said something to the extent of despite losing he was going to go on living his life and the fans would continue to go on living theirs. There are many things bigger than sports and there is this cruel reality that even when our teams win (or lose) at the end of the day our lives are, for the most part, unaffected. Are there economic ramifications for the cities? Sure. But will it have a lasting effect on my individually? Probably not. If the Cavs win a championship, I don’t get a pay hike. I don’t get a ring. I don’t get to go to Disney. At best, any gear I could get, I would have to buy, and any celebrating I would do would most likely be on my own.

But it would sure be fun.

And this is what it feels like to be a Browns fan and dream of the Super Bowl… every year. #whenpigsfly #Munilot

A photo posted by Creed (@captain_creed) on Sep 12, 2013 at 4:40pm PDT

And that’s the draw of entertainment. The rush, the excitement, the thrill of victory (or so I’ve heard) and the agony of defeat (I’m very familiar with this). Yet, underneath it all, despite the disappointment, the failure, the losing, and the ridicule (I’ve heard all the Cleveland jokes at least 3 times and have made a few myself), I think one thing is clear – there’s no place like home. Perhaps my fanhood is simply a manifestation of the loyalty and pride of where I come from. I have no qualms passing that on to my kids.

In case you didn’t know…#superman #dc #comics

A photo posted by Creed (@captain_creed) on Dec 22, 2014 at 4:47am PST

In the meantime, I’m not giving up on my teams. I can’t throw in the towel. I can’t stop believing. It’s not how I was raised. I can’t turn my back on home.

So I am going to continue to watch the NBA Finals, root for my Cavs, live and die with the team, and imagine what the championship parade will be like in downtown Cleveland. And if they happen to lose, don’t worry I will be okay. Just give me a few days to recover. But if they win? You will need to give me a few days then too.

The absurdity of fanhood is real and complicated. And I am going to continue to enjoy it.

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Do you “Like” The Captain?

Do you “Like” The Captain?

My audition for the new Most Interesting Man in the World. Actually, it's just me sitting by the fire waiting for the power to come back.

A photo posted by Creed (@captain_creed) on Apr 4, 2016 at 11:47am PDT

Recent Posts

  • Space Jam – A New Legacy
  • Quiet But Not Absent
  • 5 Ways Comics Improve Reading

Archives

  • July 2021
  • March 2021
  • May 2020
  • April 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • December 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • June 2017
  • May 2017
  • April 2017
  • March 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011

Meta

  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org
I'm speaking at Dad 2.0 summit!
© 2022 My Captain's Log | Powered by Minimalist Blog WordPress Theme