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Quiet But Not Absent

Posted on March 5, 2021March 5, 2021 by captaincreed

The pages of this site have been quiet for awhile. While that wasn’t intentional, it was needed.

Pardon me for being quiet, but please know I haven’t been absent. Let me explain.

My last post was in May. May is also the month my son was born. And the month I was born.

George Floyd was killed on my birthday.

The pandemic has been weird and an adjustment for all of us. I turned 44 this year. My wife and coworkers surprised me with an outdoor, socially distanced, drive by birthday. There were friends (masked and at a distance), beverages, waves, and laughter. In short, I had love and laughter.

At the same time I was enjoying the best wealth that life has to offer, friendship, Floyd was pleading for his life. That dichotomy, which I was unaware of at the time, is now not lost on me.

I was not aware of the incident until the next day. The following days were a blur of news, video clips, and comments.

Conversations

And then the conversations hit. I’m thankful for the conversations. Friends who knew the endless loop of a video of a man, who could have been me, would have been traumatic for me. Friends who wanted to know what to do next. Friends uncomfortable with their feelings.

These conversations gave me hope.

I also had conversations with acquaintances or people to whom I was connected. Some of these were intentional. Most were accidental.

Many of these conversations worried me. Frustrated me.

They also challenged me.

A Realization

I began to realize that there were people with whom I could trust to have difficult conversations. It doesn’t mean that we could or would agree about everything, but I could trust them enough to be vulnerable. And earn their trust to be vulnerable with me.

I also began to realize that there were people with whom I made a mistake trusting enough to have a conversation. People who expected me to respect their experiences, but quickly dismissed what I had experienced. People who would trust the punchline of a meme before they listened to the experience of a 44 year-old friend.

I watched with dismay as people who I held in regard and with respect shared articles and memes that figuratively made light of the tenuous situation that I experience daily. And while they claimed to respect me and my family, they never acknowledged the hurt that I felt. Instead they would claim simply that there was blame on “both sides”.

Side note: Correct me if I’m wrong, but the opposite side of inclusion is exclusion. I’m for inclusion. What other “side” could you be on?

I began to speak up more. I began to read more. Now I hope to write more.

My Hope

I don’t have answers. I don’t believe that I have solutions.

However, I firmly believe that each of us has the power to share the light and positivity within us.

And that is my goal moving forward – to share the little light I have.

There’s a quote by the late August Wilson (my favorite playwright) that goes:

All you need in the world is love and laughter. That’s all anybody needs. To have love in one hand and laughter in the other.

-August Wilson

Dear readers, I wish you two handfuls – one full of love and the other full of laughter with enough to share.

  • August Wilson
  • conversations
  • Fatherhood
  • inclusion
  • 6 thoughts on “Quiet But Not Absent”

    1. Leslie Swathwood says:
      March 5, 2021 at 11:20 am

      I so enjoy reading your posts….your writing is powerful, inspirational and helpful.
      Thank you for sharing your gift with us.
      And remember that I am always here for you and your family! ❤️

      Reply
      1. captaincreed says:
        March 6, 2021 at 4:44 pm

        Thank you for the kind words.

        Reply
    2. CAROL A TRUEBLOOD says:
      March 5, 2021 at 1:36 pm

      I’m so glad you are writing again. I’ve always enjoyed your blog (and you).I also love your quote. I feel that I have had my two handfuls for years in my life with Jesse.

      Reply
    3. Victor says:
      March 5, 2021 at 5:25 pm

      Great price, Creed! Thank you for sharing!

      Reply
      1. captaincreed says:
        March 6, 2021 at 4:43 pm

        Thank you!

        Reply
    4. Victor says:
      March 5, 2021 at 5:26 pm

      Piece, not price.

      Reply

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    My audition for the new Most Interesting Man in the World. Actually, it's just me sitting by the fire waiting for the power to come back.

    A photo posted by Creed (@captain_creed) on Apr 4, 2016 at 11:47am PDT

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